only a dream
by bonesmad
Summary: Their conversations were brief but that didn't mean it wasn't real... my own additions to Kili and Tauriel
1. Chapter 1

"Do you think she could have loved me?" she peered down at their interlaced fingers afraid that if she moved even slightly they'd fall away from each other. She could barely feel his fingers against hers it was so gentle, but it sent more energy through her than she'd ever felt before. His eyes were near closed now yet still set on her face. In his delirium she did not think he would really expect and answer.

"I do not think it impossible." She said as quietly as she could she wondered if he'd even heard her, she got her response quickly enough as his eyes opened again and a slight smile passed across his sickly face. She let out a tiny sigh as his grip on her fingers tightened.

"I like to think she could." His whispers matched hers. Her stomach tightened and she felt a tiny seed of courage grow within her, she'd already defied her king and prince. She might as well deny her people now too and venture further into this tangled web.

"Why?" she heard a rustle behind her, caught the corner of Tilda's skirt at the edge of her eye and was brought back to the reality that they were not alone in the small kitchen. Somehow she didn't care.

"So I could tell her… I love her too." He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. He clearly didn't notice the others around them, lost in his confusion. It could have just been her imagination but she thought she saw a little more colour grace his cheeks, and she was sure a little more coloured hers. Her knees weakened slightly at the sound of his confession, this time her fingers squeezed his. "I could tell her I want to spent a hundred lifetimes with her, and spend every night chasing starlight." She felt the beginnings of tears pricking her eyes. His voice was growing stronger word by word, and she feared that soon he would awaken from the pain induced haze and stop speaking his deepest thoughts.

"that sounds too perfect to ever come to be."

"It is the only thing fitting for a creature as beautiful as she." She heard Fili cough under his breath. The feeling in her stomach turned from butterflies to lead.

"Young prince you know all this would only cause heartache."

"It would for a time, but the love I feel for her would turn even the hardest hearts." She felt the very tips of her ears blush now. She locked eyes with him again and didn't care who was watching now.

"Kili I'm here, I will always be here." She leant down and kissed his hand. He rose slowly from the table and his other hand reached over to cup the back of her head. His rough thumb making circles in her hair.

She let her eyes close and she rested her forehead on him. She didn't know what she was feeling. She did not know what true love felt like but she would wager all the starlight that shines on earth that what she felt right then was it.


	2. Chapter 2

His head was pounding and his leg was aching, but there was a warmth coming from his hand that made it all feel ok. He opened his eyes slowly, each lid pressing a ton weight down on him, and looked at the fiery head resting on the back of his hand and smiled. Was it possible it hadn't been a dream? Was it possible she was here and heard everything he'd been too afraid to say? His smile widened and all the pain in his body suddenly evaporated. He shifted slightly and saw that her eyes were closed, there was a small stool under her and her breathing was soft. She could have slept there for hours now, he couldn't tell. That didn't matter though she was here and nothing else was important. He turned his head to the side and caught sight of Fili and the other dwarfs that stayed behind with them sleeping in what looked like a pile in the corner of the kitchen. His face softened and his eyes settled on his older brother. Of course he wouldn't be too far away. He blinked and realised how much trouble he was in now if Fili had heard what he'd admitted last night. It would take some time but he knew his best friend would see how true and deep his feelings were. It had only taken him a few hours after all.

_His smile widened as she sat down clearly listening intently. He continued telling her all about the fire moon oddly enjoying how she hung on his every word. _

"_I wish I could see such a sight." She said once again. _

"_It was spectacular." He nodded. _

"_I wish I could see anything besides what is inside this kingdom." She seemed to supress a sigh and her eyes moved to look over his head. She suddenly turned and looked around the cavernous jail, her eyebrows slanted and her face moved to question something. It was as if she'd heard someone behind her. As she relaxed he started again. _

"_You are not from here though?" his question brought her back to look at him._

"_I am as good as. I have lived here the majority of my life. But no I am not from here."_

"_How did you come to be here?" her eyes flashed as the corner of her mouth twitched. _

"_You ask a lot of questions for a prisoner." _

"_You answer a lot for a guard." He shrugged. This time she conceded to give him a smile. _

"_I wish to know more about the world outside our forest. You seem willing to tell me." He opened his mouth to respond. "Also I have concluded you are harmless. You may not want to tell me why you and your company are here, but I cannot see the harm in getting other information from you."_

_He puffed out his chest and stood as tall as his stature would allow. _

"_I am not harmless." He said in a deeper voice than she'd heard before. She laughed, _

"_I do not wish to talk about your trousers again." he let his offense go again, and joined her. _

"_Pity." _

"_Tell me more of other lands." She leant on her knee and waited for more information. _

"_I did recently visit the Shire for the first time." _

"_The Shire?" _

"_The hobbit settlement." _

"_Oh i Drann." She nodded. "The Shire." She repeated, as if testing it out on her tongue. Her eyes lit up. "Please continue."_

"_I had never seen a hobbit hole before. It was interesting."_

"_I have never seen a hobbit."_

"_They are also quite interesting." He nodded. Their homes have large doors…" he started telling her what he could about Bilbo's home, while trying not to lose his train of thought in her beauty, and trying not to let himself think she was beautiful. _

"_I envy you." She said solemnly. "What I wouldn't give to see the world." He laughed and she stood, clearly insulted. "my dreams are amuse you Naugrim?" _

"_No, no I'm sorry! It's just, you envy me yet I am the one behind bars." It took her a second but he saw her relax slightly. _

"_perhaps envy is not the word." She said, her fists relaxing too. "you are only here though until your leader tells us what we need to know."_

"_Then we shall be here for a long time more." She opened her mouth as if to speak but didn't. "Yes?"_

"_I just…"_

"_You were going to ask me to tell you why we're here." He crossed his arms._

"_No truly I wasn't." she frowned. "That didn't even occur to me. I was going to say at least I will hear about other lands." He moved towards the bars but she stepped back. "I must go." She turned and left quickly without so much as a glance back. It had been but an hour talking but he knew he was lost. _

It had taken him the blink of an eye to fall in love with this astounding woman. He knew the rest of his kin had to come around eventually.


	3. Chapter 3

"Don't get up." He heard a soft voice say before he even opened his eyes. "I wish to check your wound." He felt two warm hands on his thigh. He shifted slightly afraid she would see what had happened while he slept. What having her so close to him, had done. "Do not move!" she reprimanded. "You could further injure yourself."

"I am fine. Practically healed." He muttered finally opening his eyes.

"Let me be the judge of that." She had yet to look him in the eye, he noticed a hint of red gracing the tips of her ears. He squeezed his eyes tight and prayed she didn't notice his now slightly too tight trousers. He hissed as she removed bandages to get a better look at the arrow wound. Perhaps it was more tender than he'd first accessed. If nothing else the pain had eased his other problem.

"Practically healed?" she repeated and he saw her eyebrow raise.

"Well you can't deny it's much better than it was." He tried in vain to argue.

"It is good to see you back in full consciousness young prince. Even if it disrupts the night silence." She continued to tend to his leg. Still avoiding looking directly at him.

He looked over to the window to see it was in fact still pitch black outside. This may be the longest night he'd ever lived through, but with the present company he had he truly hoped it never ended.

"Where are the others?" he asked trying to calm his fast beating heart.

"the dwarfs have gone on a scout to see how many orc's Legolas felled. The children are sleeping." He felt an involuntary smile pass across his face as she said that _the children are sleeping… _it was incredibly foolish and naïve he knew but for a split second he let himself think she was talking about their children. The thought please him greatly, the two of them years from now discussing their days as their children slept. The realisation hit him how serious that all sounded. Yes maidens had caught his eye before that was only natural. He had never given much thought past one night with them though. With this fiery haired beauty though he saw well past one night and far into the future.

"…Kili?" she said bringing his attention back to her. She was finally looking him in the eye clearly puzzled. "I asked how that felt." Her head gestured towards his newly bandaged leg.

"Much better thank you." He nodded. Unable to tear his eyes away from hers.

"Where did you go to?" she asked.

"A daydream." He shrugged, difficult as it was from his position on the table.

"It must have been quite the dream for you to drift off mid conversation." He gulped and filled his lungs slowly. To tell her or not.

"It was the most exquisite thought I have ever had." He sat up carefully keeping as much pressure off his legs as possible. He saw that as he moved she looked away again, it was as if she was afraid to hold his gaze too long. "I may have said too much last night." He said bending to catch her eye again. "I'm sorry if I offended you."

Her head snapped up and her eyes were teary if he wasn't mistaken.

"Offended me?" she said in a slightly strangled voice. "Oh dear prince no offence could have possibly been taken."

"Then why do you act so distant?" he asked, silently pleased at her reaction. "You saved my life, surely we should be celebrating." He reached out and took her hand as he said this, feeling a shock go through him at the contact, yes they'd touched before but this was different, this had meaning behind it. Their eyes locked again and he saw worlds there.

"It would not end well…" she said after a heavy silence surrounded them. Her words did nothing to alleviate the feeling in the room.

"What would not." He said, now afraid of even breathing hard enough to break this fragile moment.

"Please don't make me say it." She whispered. Eyes still holding steadfast. He leaned forward, ignoring the scream coming from his leg.

"Tell me you can't see it, a life with me, where ever we want. A life spent travelling and exploring. A life spent loving each other." Her heart beat faster with every word he said. "perhaps if we are lucky a family of our own running around our house. Making a mess and getting into trouble…" he knew the look in his eyes must be bordering on desperate but he didn't care, for the first time in his life he knew what he wanted. Not what his mother wanted for him. Not what his uncle wanted for them all. Not even what his brother wanted for them both. What he wanted for himself. He wanted her.

She struggled to swallow the lump in her throat as she held his gaze. She saw so much in his two beautiful eyes. Hope, promise, desire and perhaps even love. But she also saw the pain and trouble following such a life could bring. Her thumb started rubbing small circles on his hand.

"If only it.." she swallowed again. "…it were so simple." He took her by surprise as he suddenly jumped up onto his knees now towering over her ever so slightly. He took her two hands in his holding them up in between them. He pulled her closer, so that their noses were barely a hairs width apart.

"It can be. We could leave now, be gone by morning to where ever we want. The ends of the earth." He tugged at her hands again and pulled her in further capturing her lips in his own. She couldn't believe the sensations that ran through her from the most simple of kisses. He pulled back, visibly paler than he had been and before she could speak he fainted, collapsing onto the table.


	4. Chapter 4

She paced up and down over the little bridge, every now and again she looked out over the town and took a step further away from the house, only to retreat just as quickly.

"Where are you off too?" a voice said from behind her. She turned slowly to find the dwarf in the strange hat sitting on the ledge outside the door. She hadn't really seen him since she had taken the athelas from him. "Bofur." He said clearly seeing a question pass across her face, as he bowed slightly from his siting position.

"Apologies master Bofur. Regretfully I have not thought to acquaint myself with all your names."

"You have been too busy saving our young prince." She thought he raised an eyebrow under his furry hat. He stood up and walked towards her. "so where were you going?" she took a deep breath and sighed almost inaudibly.

"No where." She admitted, mostly to herself, though the answer was for him.

"Where were you thinking of going?"

"After my friend. I should have gone with him."

"That's where you were going when I came back with the Kingsfoil." She just nodded. "And you have decided not to go?"

"It would seem so." She walked back over the bridge towards the Bard's house.

"Good. We're all waiting for you to explain how young Kili passed out after seemingly beginning to recover." She smiled, knowing now that both eyebrows were raised sky high.

"I already told you, he tried to get up too quickly and the pain overtook him."

"A likely story"

"I am immune to the scepticism of dwarfs Master Bofur." She said stopping to stand directly in front of him.

"And I the fabrications of elves." He grinned widely showing it was all in good spirit. "All I must say is I have known young Kili since he was nothing but a dwarfling in his mother's arms, not that I was much older…" he coughed earning him a light laugh. "…and I never thought he would fall so deep and so truly so swiftly. Take care my lady. That is a true heart you hold." Her face softened and she felt all her defences slipping away. She had been so wrapped up in how the dwarves were meant to hate her kind that she never thought about how they would simply wish to protect the young dwarf. Bofur didn't even leave her time to reply, he simply nodded and retreated back into the house.

She cast her eyes towards the Lonely Mountain, could she ever make a home there? a home with him.

/ / / / / / / /\\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\

She watched as the two brothers spoke quietly, Kili's pale face clearly still the cause of all his elder brothers worry. She could easily admit though that much colour had returned to his face, in fact he almost resembled the dwarf she had gotten to know in the elven dungeons. Her cheeks grew hot as she once again caught him glancing her way. When she looked back it was the blonde heir that was looking at her. His gaze was not as flattering. He did not possess the air of command that she had briefly witnessed in his uncle but he was definitely trying his best to emulate it. Over time he would probably succeed. He turned and left the house, she had been commanded enough over the years and knew instantly that he meant for her to follow. She did quickly and gently, not wanting the whole room to see her succumb to the dwarfen prince.

When she reached him he was turned waiting for her. His calm mask was gone and now he only looked awkward.

"I just wanted to thank you, for all you have done. My uncle would not be pleased to hear me say this. But I am eternally grateful for all the times you have now saved my brother."

"You owe me no thanks." She said shaking her head.

"I do. And now you may return to your kin. I know you are in great trouble after your efforts to help us."

"it doesn't matter." Tauriel said struggling to hold the dwarfs eyes as a wave of guilt passed over her. "there was other factors involved." Fili nodded and rocked back on his heels. Clearly he had more to say.

"My brother is barely seventy seven." He finally started. "still incredibly young for a dwarf."

"still childhood for an elf." She nodded agreeing. Trying to gauge how much older the blonde dwarf was.

"I want to warn you not to take his… infatuation too seriously." She felt her heart contract, he was trying to dismiss her. "He has been my closest companion since his birth and I can tell you he is not the most serious of dwarfs. Not yet anyway, as I said he's young." She started ringing her hands behind her back.

"So you have seen this before. You have heard these comely words please another maidens ears." She said slowly and decidedly. Fili looked towards the lit window, then back at her, his chest fell in a minor defeat.

"No, never. I have seen him gaze, often." Disappointment fell into her stomach. "but not like this." He huffed and ran a hand over his braided beard. "I am being unfair. I believe my brother has true feelings for you. He has one of the purest hearts I have ever met. I just do not want to see him in pain. Either going through heartache or dismissed by my uncle and the dwarves of Erebor."

"You can see no cheerful ending?" she asked.

"I can barely see past our current quest. But no." she could see he was in pain saying all this. His love for his brother ran deep. She just nodded and hung her head. This was perhaps the most sense anyone had spoken to her in days.


	5. Chapter 5

No one was prepared for the dragons attack. Not that there was really was really a way to prepare for such a thing. There had been panic and chaos, but what she saw now was so much worse. She stood on the hill looking over what remained of Laketown. She heard muffled cries and distant shouts. She watched as people routed through disaster looking for anything they could save. She watched as they tended to their wounded and held loved ones close. She had seen nothing like it before. She knew she would have never seen anything like it if she'd stayed in their kingdom. Yet her eyes were constantly drawn away from the devastation before them to the small black dot that was growing smaller and smaller on the water.

"_Tauriel Amrâlimê…" her heart stopped and she couldn't disguise the shock on her face. She had heard of the secret Dwarven language in whispers. Their most closely guarded secret. But she had never thought she'd hear some from a dwarf herself. Nor could she ever anticipate that these were the words she'd hear. _

"_I don't know what that means." She stammered, trying to recover any semblance of decorum._

_His smile at that moment healed all the wounds of her six hundred year life. _

"_I think you do." A near carnal urge ran through her then and all she wanted to do was kiss him. He had essentially pledged himself to her in that brief sentence. And how she wanted to accept. Out of the corner of her eye she spotted Fili hauling the boat, and a darkness settled again. _

She gripped the runestone as tightly as she could, almost trying to drive it into her bloodstream.

"What is that you hold." Legolas asked, not taking his eyes off the survivors of Laketown. She stopped gripping so tightly and dragger her gaze away from the boat. She looked at her friend

"it is a promise." He turned to look at her, openly puzzled. "A promise to return." With that she said no more and walked back towards the shore leaving him behind her with only more questions.

/ / / / / / /\\ \ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\

He rubbed his leg roughly, trying to release the knot that had formed as they sailed. It was feeling much better than it had mere hours before. But there was othing he could do about the slightly limp. He looked towards the lonely mountain and realised that the trek would take a while, but it would be worth it when he finally got to see he place he'd only visited in his dreams.

They set off quickly enough, all already unnerved to not have been there when their brothers took Erebor back. The pace was quick but between himself and Oin he still was not slowing down the group. As always his brother fell into step close to him, on high alert as was normal.

"Fili…" he said after a while in silence. He only grumbled in response. "what do you think it looks like."

"The mountain?" His brother was still turned away from him scouting out the area around them.

"Yes."

"I think it will be everything mother and Thorin have said. Probably more."

"Do you think it will feel like home?" from where he was he could see Fili frown.

"I think so…" he nodded. "…I like to think so. We've heard so much, I feel like I know it already. Surely that will make it feel like home."

Kili nodded and continued across the last stretch separating them from the place that had filled their childhood stories. He thought of the royal chambers, what a change living somewhere like that would be to the Blue Hills. He tried to imagine Thorin on a throne, perhaps finally at peace, ruling properly over his people. He looked back towards Fili and tried to imagine him eventually taking over, ruling over them all. He grinned. Then his mind drifted back to the shore they had just left. He wondered what she was doing now, did she regret not coming with him? Did she leave immediately with her prince? Would she change her answer once this was all over? He merged the two day dreams then, imagining her in the Lonely Mountain. Sitting in their chambers cleaning her bow. He imagined his mother sitting across from her as they talked animatedly, telling her about where they'd just been to visit. He slowed considerably as he let himself think of her standing on the balcony of Erebor looking out towards Dale, her hand resting on the slight bump formed on her stomach. Her smile absolutely radiant as she turned to him… ##

"Kili?" Fili stood right next to him now. "Are you alright? Is it your leg?"

He shook his head, leaving the dream behind him.

"I'm perfectly fine. Sorry."

"Why have you slowed down?" he asked still studying him closely. Kili looked around briefly and realised he was in fact lagging behind.

"I was thinking of the future. In the mountain." He smiled and patted his brothers shoulder.

"We have a lot to go though before then."

"I know but it feels more possible now than it ever has before." He smiled as a grin started on FIli's face too.

"It does doesn't it." They both laughed.

"I can see a whole life ahead now. Not just this journey." Kili continued and Fili's laugh faded out.

"I heard you." He said humourlessly. "on the shore."

"I thought you would have." Kili nodded.

"How could you do such a thing? Speak in Khuzdúl to her. You barely know her." His voice had dropped and his eyes were back on the ground before them. Kili stood taller, he'd been expecting this. "I can forgive all you said in the kitchen, you were delirious. But now what you said on the shore."

"forgive? Forgive what I said? What is there to forgive?" Kili responded in an equal tone, not really wanting to draw too much attention to the discussion.

"You pledged love to this elf!" he said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"yes?" he huffed. "And?"

"You do not need to be told how foolish that it. How childish and…" he stood in front of his older brother and stopped him in his tracks. Briefly grateful for the few extra inches he had been gifted.

"Childish? Do you truly think me childish?" he asked no anger in his voice.

"I think you have been taken in by her and it is incredibly foolish of you." He said trying to adopt a stern look on his face.

"Taken in? Fili you've met her, she has always been nothing but resistant. I have been the more open one. I was the one to pursue things."

"She is an elf! Not to be trusted. You know how uncle would…."

"I don't care what uncle will think right now. I want to know what my brother thinks." He placed a hand on his chest. "What my greatest companion thinks. Do you truly think I have gotten caught up in a flying fancy. Do you think me so dim as to be taken away by a crush?" For the first time in their shared life Fili found it difficult to hold his brothers gaze. He had thought he had gotten through to Tauriel, he hadn't realised how invested Kili had gotten.

"No I do not. I can see you love her." He finally admitted and Kili smiled.

"I knew you would. I know there are few dwarves lucky enough to find true love in their lifetime and I have been blessed enough to find mine now. She makes me feel alive Fili, even though I didn't know I was dead"

"Blessed?." He interrupted. "What about this is a blessing? Even if we weren't trying to retake Erebor this would still be a curse. You are of different worlds it could never work. Not only will your leaders denounce it but your people will think you traitorous." He said sadly, the last thing he wanted was to be separated from his brother, and he would surely be driven out if this happened. He saw realisation pass over Kili's face.

"One battle at a time brother." He whispered as he started walking again. "Let's get home."


	6. Chapter 6

Back in the Blue Mountains they had rarely spent a night apart. In fact the most nights they had slept apart was when they were in the custody in the elven prison cells, and even then they'd slept in adjoining cells. So why, after one night of sleeping beside Tauriel, could he not find any sleep lying beside his brother. He looked over at Fili again and sighed. He was exhausted, his very bones were weary, not to mention his leg was throbbing again, yet he couldn't sleep. He stood slowly careful not to wake his brother, and stepped over some rocks towards the balcony. They were finally here after years of stories he was actually standing in Erebor. He and Fili had spent years yearning to see this place for themselves, reaching for something so far away. Now that he had it, he found himself reaching again.

/ / / / /\\ \\ \\ \\ \\

She sat on the rock looking out over the landscape. Not a thing was stirring. Not even the leaves on the trees. She wanted to return to the Lonely Mountain as quickly as possible, but Legolas had insisted hey rest for a short while. They both knew the battle that lay ahead. She had tried to sleep. Truly she had. Yet she knew it was not coming to her that night, so she sat up watching the stars instead. She rarely slept normally, not really needing to for many days at a time. The few hours she had slept by Kili's sick bed had been her only sleep for a good while now, and she could easily admit that had been the deepest sleep she had ever experience. She had immediately slept better beside him. Now she couldn't sleep at all. She stared up at the night sky stretching miles before her and wondered had he made it to the Mountain.

/ / / / /\\ \\ \\ \\ \\

He looked away from the night and towards his company again, would they all really react to his love as Fili predicted. His eyes moved over Bofur and Ori, and all the others, dispite having the entire mountain at their disposal they'd decided to stay together to sleep. They were not just a company anymore but a family. When his gaze finally made it to his uncle his heart tightened. He had truly thought he would have been able to talk his uncle around about Tauriel, show him not all elves were the same. Now he was not so sure, something had taken hold of his uncle, he was unsure what yet but he could feel that it was going to cause trouble. He knew there and then maybe he would never truly call the mountain home, maybe he would be leaving here soon. Like his brother had predicted. On that sad note he turned back to the open sky. His eyes fixated on one star, it seemed brighter than the rest of them. It almost looked like it was marking something for him. Like it was there to comfort him. Perhaps she was sitting under that star right now.

/ / / /\\ \\ \\ \\

The light caught on the stone beautifully, showing all the stunning colours it was made up of. Blue, black, green and gold all merging together to create this small token of love. She would get this back to him as soon as she could, it was a promise she had made herself. He had given it to her in a moment of passion. Just after confessing his love to her. He had given away this token of his mother's adoration and while he might not regret it now, she knew he would one day. She stopped turning it over and froze. Had that been his plan all along, give her another reason to return to him quickly. She smiled and pressed the stone to her lips, holding it there as she looked back up at the stars. The one above her seemed impossibly close, like a second moon shining down. A chill moved up her spine slowly, creeping like a spider up to her shoulders. Something big was coming, something besides this war.

/ / / /\\ \\ \\ \\

He found his way back to Fili's side after a time staring at the stars and finally his eyes closed with barely an hour before dawn. A little sleep was better than nothing though.

His dreams were the most beautiful he'd ever experienced. Yet the most simple.

_He opened the door and practically ran to his brother clasping his shoulders, _

"_Brother you have a nephew." He said his smile splitting his face. Fili's soon matched his own and they hugged tightly. "I must go tell uncle." He said as they parted_

"_No need, I have heard." Thorin said from the the other side of the antechamber. Kili didn't think he could smile more broadly but he did. _

"_You're here!" they exchanged a similar embrace. _

"_Where else would I be?" the king smiled. "How is your wife."_

"_Recovering. She is much stronger than I once thought." He raised his eyebrows. "Which is incredible as I thought her remarkably strong."_

"_Stop blathering and take us to the babe!" Fili said frustrated. He turned back to his bedroom and they followed him in, he didn't even think to ask if his beloved was ready for visitors. His heart stopped again as he saw the sight in his bed, Tauriel holding a small bundle in her arms, a dark head barely visible from across the room. She looked up beaming. He thought his heart would surely burst from the joy he was feeling. He had everything in the world he could ever want in this very room. He walked his brother and uncle over to the bedside where his mother already stood._

"_Uncle, brother may I present my son…" his eyes froze Tauriel's and he found that he couldn't move. Or talk for that matter._

"_Kili…" he heard a whisper in the back of his mind. "Kili!" it was louder now. _

A sudden jolt came next and he awoke fully, mourning the loss of such a dream.

"Kili breakfast! Come now or there'll be nothing left." Fili said giving him a final shake. Kili sat up and moved his hair out of his face, he looked up at the sky and found the sight of clouds and blue also made him mournful. No more stars.


	7. Chapter 7

He was sure it was her, she had given him this strength he'd never possessed before. A strength that gave him the will to stand up to his uncle in his altered state. Yes they'd all silently wondered if Thorin would succumb to the illness that had taken his forefathers, but no one had expected it to take hold so soon. He was wracked with fear of what was outside these walls. The war that had brewed and was starting to spill out over the land. He hated being blocked away from it all, hiding almost while others fought. He hated the thought of not knowing where she was. If she was still safe. He had to do something to get out there, stand up for everything that meant something to him.

Now after his outburst, his declaration they were fighting. They were finally defending their home they best way he knew. Battle.

/ / / / / / /\\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\

She had faced her king, and barely kept her life. Legolas walked silently beside her, she could not believe his faith in her. What Thranduil had said to her was playing on her mind on a loop. He dared question her feelings, her love. He knew nothing of it. He knew nothing of Kili. How could he judge.

Yet there was something else in his words. He had lived longer than her, seen more of the world. Suffered more. There was a time that he had been her hero, she had looked up to him. Worshiped him even. She couldn't pin point when he had fallen so low. But when she thought about the look on his face as he disregarded her affections she knew she had lost all respect for him. Every shred.

She knew what she felt now without a doubt in the world. She loved Kili, and she was going to tell him.

/ / / / / / /\\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ 

Watching as Fili fell before him with a bone crushing thud. His heart leapt to his mouth and all he wanted to do was run to his side and clutch him, try and keep him in this life. He almost went to him. But he couldn't he knew he couldn't. he knew he too would perish if he gave in to the urge.

Seeing his brother, his companion lying dead in front of him was more pain that he thought he could bare. Every cell in his body was screaming out in pain, his heart was broken in two and he knew it would never repair again.

Fili was dead, he would never speak to him again. He would never embrace him again, or listen to him giving out again. He would never fight by his brother's side again, and the thought made him sick. He heard Thorin cry out and he held back his own tears, though he didn't know how. He tried to imagine what Fili would have him do, he would tell him to carry on. To finish what they had started out to do. He took one last look at his brother and bowing his head momentarily then carrying on.

/ / / / / / /\\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\

Her senses were on high alert, she knew they could be attacked any moment.

"Tauriel…" Legolas' silky voice brought her out of her deep thoughts. She turned to meet his eye.

"Yes my lord." She said coolly.

"Do you love him that much?" his words caught her off guard. "I can see you fading before my very eyes." She stared at her friend. They'd had a lifetime together, trained, talked and learned together. He was her closest companion. And she didn't know how to talk to him in that moment.

"I simply want all this to be over." She replied.

"So you can be with the dwarf prince." He tried again, she was growing frustrated.

"You seem to think it an impossibility."

"You will have no home. You will be cast out."

"I have already been cast out!" she said losing all her reserve now. She had always been worse at concealing her emotions than the other elves she knew, Legolas especially. In the last few weeks however she was exceptionally bad at it. "I already have no home." She shrugged.

"And you think having… him will make it better." His eyes still betraying nothing.

"I know when I am with him, nothing else matters." She finally admitted some truth to him.

"Nothing else." His voice dropped and she looked back up at him. She gave her friend as comforting a look as she could and continued walking.

/ / / / / / /\\ \\ \\ \\ \ \\ \\

He couldn't seem to slay them fast enough, they just kept coming. He barely heard it the first time. "Kili…" a shout that seemed miles away. But it caught all his attention. She was here.

"Tauriel!" he responded desperately looking around. He needed to see her. He was running low on bows and he knew he was tiring. He had to see her.

/ / / / / / /\\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\

She had cracked ribs she was sure, her breathing was shallow and every movement hurt. But she had to get to him.

The Orc had her around the throat and her vision was starting to blur, was this truly to be it. His face floated into her mind just as the corners of her vision turned black and she drew more energy from it than she thought she could ever manage.

She hit the wall before she knew it, and she gasped air back into her tender lungs. The mist was moving down over them as she saw the Orc draw himself up again over her, a chill moved quickly down her spine and she knew he was there before she saw him. Kili came from the fog like a vision, her heart leapt and she felt a sliver of hope. She rose once again and they fought together, but it was over before she knew it.

/ / / / / /\\ \\ \\ \ \\ \\ \\

He held her gaze as he felt the blade pierce right through him. He had hoped for one more chance to see her. But not like this. He did not want her last memory of him to be this. Her eyes broke his already shattered heart even more, he knew with every cell in his being that he loved her. He couldn't say a sliver of all he wanted to in that second, he could feel his life slipping away. He tried to pass all he could through his eyes, praying silently that she understood. He saw in her eyes her heart breaking and it confirmed. She knew.

/ / / / / /\\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\

Her breathing was shallow and everything hurt. But nothing more than the new hole in her chest. She knew Thranduil was still watching her but she didn't care. She kissed his cooling lips lightly again and let her head rest on his forehead. Her tears now running streaks down his cheeks. She was gripping his hand tightly, the runestone still between them. She had returned it, eventually. Her heart was ruined now, she knew an accepted that. She had loved and now he was gone. All thoughts of a long and happy future were long gone. She had known it would never have been easy. She had known they'd face troubles. She had never truly prepared herself for never even getting a chance. It had all simply been a dream

FIN

_Thank you everyone for reading! And sticking with me!_

_Grace_


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